Accidentally clicked a link and went down memory lane. See there was a girl I knew a long time ago, I won't mention names because that's not gentlemanly, but I would go so far to say she was beautiful and well still is. But that doesn't matter now. Telling a story of how she looks and how happy she looks with him won't make things different. It's won't make me wake up somewhere else with her under my arm like this was a weird dream. I still wake up in cold Indiana, trying to make a spot out back to bury these memories because I don't really need them anymore so allow me to dig another hole real quick. But anyways she was beautiful and oh so interesting. We had so many interests in common that I couldn't stop talking to her. That is my first problem, I get to into talking that I drown any idea of anything else. We talked and talked and of course I got interested in this girl because of her awesome but I stay too nervous to really say that. I act all Mr. Cool until I get crushing then I'm tripping over my own self in nervousness. It happened time and time again because there was time and time again to say something. With the nerves came and went the chance to maybe take things further, she lost interest. Maybe I jabbed on too long, maybe it was just a whim of a moment thing but either way I missed that chance. So we grow apart and like the hopeful boy I was I tried a few times to get the girl after she was gone. Invitation to a new years, maybe a movie date here, mix cd there. I try to wake the dead, but in real life the dead do not raise. And so more time passes and she found someone new and they are happy. She's probably better off because well he looks nice and stable and will let her talk too. It's been a lot of forgetting to get where I am. Hell it took forever for me to get to a point where I wanted to change. Too long for another person to wait, which is why I haven't tried to meet another girl in years. I now feel bad when I feel I might be dragging someone down, I quiet up when someone wants to talk, I've learn to at least act like a grown up when needed. I always fall for the pretty girls because the ones I find share similar interests and that's all it takes to pull me in. But I'm still just a rest stop between the cities of where you were and where you'll be when better comes around and I just have to live with that.